"Eat Bertha's Mussels"
Music: Traditional; Lyrics: John Roberts; Additional Lyrics: DSpringhorn
A sailor came to Bertha's with a problem most severe: His manly pride had been atrophied by a voyage of fourteen years. He ate a plate of mussels, now he sings in a different key- His jib boom’s set right, he’ll be in there tonite; and he’ll never go back to sea!
Eat Bertha's mussels, they're the best there is by far. You can eat them in the dining room, you can eat them in the bar. So when you're ashore in Baltimore and you fancy a bite to eat. Just follow your nose to Bertha's, you'll be in for a rare old treat.
A lady came to Bertha's who wanted a daughter or son: The doctor had said, with a shake of the head,that she couldn't have either one. She ate a plate of mussels, then went home to her husband dear-- She tuned up his creweth, and I'll tell you the truth; They had triplets the very same year!