Chorus:

I am the man, the very fat man,
That waters the workers' beer
I am the man, the very fat man,
That waters the workers' beer
  And what do I care if it makes them ill,
  If it makes them terribly queer
I've a car, a yacht, and an aeroplane,
And I waters the workers' beer

Verses:

Now when I waters the workers' beer,
I puts in strychnine
Some methylated spirits,
And a can of kerosine
  Ah, but such a brew so terribly strong,
  It would make them terribly queer
So I reaches my hand for the watering-can
And I waters the workers' beer

Now a drop of good beer is good for a man
When he's tired, thirsty and 'ot
And I sometimes have a drop myself,
From a very special pot
  For a strong and healthy working class
  Is the thing that I most fear
So I reaches my hand for the watering-can
And I waters the workers' beer

Now ladies fair, beyond compare,
Be you maiden or wife
Spare a thought for such a man
Who leads such a lonely life
  For the water rates are terribly high,
  And the meths is terribly dear
And there isn't the profit there used to be
In watering the workers' beer